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Horoscope Stereotypes | ||
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Top 10 Stereotypes of Aries
1. Energetic
Was that the Energizer Bunny zipping by or was that an Aries girl? Aries women have more energy than an electron. Maybe it’s their youthful way of looking at almost everything in life (some critics would rather call this childish behavior). In any case, ask an Aries woman if she cares that others think she’s a bit immature? Well, maybe if you involve her in a contest to see who the most mature person is then she’ll beat you hands down. You see, anything that has even the mildest smell of competition makes an Aries girl hot. And speaking of hot, if you like it spicy in bed all that hyper and youthful energy she has she will carry it onto the bedroom, assuring you of setting a few silk sheets on fire. Just make sure to always do a little sucking up to your Aries woman. She loves to have her ego stroked often. If you know how to massage her ego right you can be certain that she’ll reciprocate you full force. But if you stroke her the wrong way, have an exit plan. Aries babes can run their tempers high and become cold and uncaring if you have disappointed them. | |
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Top 10 Stereotypes of Taurus
1. Loyal
It’s easy to get carried away with your Taurus girl when she makes you feel like a goddess. It’s a cinch to forget how stubborn she can be when you’re getting a full body massage. You’ll dismiss any notion of her wanting to own you like a piece of fancy furniture and quickly grow comfortable to all her pampering. Her keen way of knowing what your likes and dislikes are is refreshing. However, before you get cocky and begin to believe the world revolves around you, think long and hard about this- has your girl uttered the words “I love you” or “I like you”? Taurus women are only patient and tolerant with those who they either love, care about or have something to gain from. Also, these women are only faithful when in a relationship. So if at this moment you’re simply dating a Taurus woman don’t take for granted that she’s only dating you. You’re probably aware that these ladies are known for wanting the good things in life and if you happen to be one of them get used to wearing a 24 karat ball and chain around your ankle with accompanying fine and soft lamb wool shakles. Taurus is a school filled with jealous and possessive women. If nothing else, learn this- Taurus’ aren’t linked to bulls by divine miracle. For better or for worse, your woman’s blood has the exact same levels of platelets, white and red blood cells as that powerful bovine that represents her zodiac sign. Mix in Venus, the planet of love, to the pot and you end up having someone who is passionate, sexual, as well as charming- but becomes a spoiled brat when she fails to get what she wants. | |
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Top 10 Stereotypes of Gemini
1. Sociable
A reputation for having a double personality will make you wonder which of the girls you will be meeting tonight. Will it be the good girl or her evil twin? You just never know which one will show up. So if you like the thought of sleeping with two entirely different women and you don’t want one ounce guilt about it, then congratulations- you’ve just found your soul mate! Some people may claim that she doesn’t have all her china in the cupboard or that she’s one short of a dozen. She’s a flirt that keeps flip flopping whether she’s in love with you or not. Don’t get angry at her, she is torn. It’s really not fair to judge Gemini girl. It’s all Mercury’s fault; surely it was his way of messing with her head. Having the planet Mercury, head honcho of communication is a big responsibility as well as a royal pain in the ass. It’s not easy to be a walking, talking book of information (be it fact or fiction). Anyone else would have cracked under pressure but not Gemini girl. She knows exactly what to do in order to function properly in society by eliminating the boring and unimportant stuff to make room for the more exciting trivia she calls blackmail. Therefore she chooses to focus on the big picture at hand and gathers only valuable information- names, numbers, addresses and all private data on lovers, ex’s and new prospects. Obviously, the girl has issues to say the least. But nonetheless it will be in your best interest to be understanding and nice with a Gemini girl. Because if you’re not... be afraid, be very afraid. | |
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Top 10 Stereotypes of Cancer
1. Homey
Looking for a homemaker, a sensitive soul to listen to your gripes? Are you searching for someone to adopt kids with and start your very own clan? Would you be interested in a woman who’s sensual, understanding and above all cool? If the thought of a woman who can juggle a hectic job, deal with business in and out of her home (including her love life as well as her friends) and still have time to pamper you gets you hot with passion, look no further! You’ve hit the Mecca with Cancer girl. She’s the do it all super heroine who can cook you a 15 min. meal, entertain your friends and still love you long after everyone else doesn’t anymore. Sure a Cancer woman is extremely romantic. She also holds the crown for being big on nurturing. There’s nothing more pleasurable to a Cancer woman than to be there for all her loved ones (family friends, and lover). But if you ever do her wrong, she’ll make you crawl through nails and hot burning coals before she forgives you (if she forgives you at all).You see, with all these good qualities that Cancer girl possesses sensitivity is the one gray area that can be good or bad. It’s what makes her wonderful yet, it can also backfire. If you hurt her feelings it will take a lot to get you back on her good side. Unlike Leo girl, she’s not easily happy with an expensive gift. You’ll have to beg for forgiveness time and time again or if you rather take a quicker and aggressive route then you’ll have to do something far out like telling her how much you love her and threaten that if she doesn’t forgive you, you’ll throw yourself in front of a moving vehicle. And that's just the beginning of the pardon process. Let's put it this way, you’ll get more warmth from liquid nitrogen than your Cancer girl when she’s peeved. So try not to go there. | |
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Top 10 Stereotypes of Leo
1. Prideful
We’ve all heard about how Leo girls need to be in control sexually and how they can even put an Aries or Capricorn to shame. If you want your sex to be hot with a side order of kinky then a Leo woman is the one for you. Tantalizing isn’t it? You won’t find someone who’s more loyal to you than a Leo girlfriend but keep in mind that she won’t like you coming over to her place empty handed. If you are cheap or dumb enough to show up at her doorstep without a good bottle of wine or something deliciously expensive to eat, then you better be the sharp witty type who can charm the hell out of her. Otherwise, you might witness a yawn or she may just pick up a pen and scribble something on a piece of paper. The yawn is because you’re boring her and the scribbling is to remind herself to scratch you off her Christmas list until you’re back in her good graces. A Leo woman likes gifts and she won’t ever hold back on getting the best money can buy. Even the ones who have a humble salary will save up for months in advance to give those they love something special. It’s really great to have a Leo woman as a friend. The only downfall to dating one is when her suddenly sticky fingers get a hold of your money and the next thing you know your checks are bouncing more than a rubber ball. But you’ll accept this and more because you just love it when she pounces on you like the lovable lioness that she is, even though you’ve reached the conclusion that money to your beloved Leo girl is the equivalent of catnip to a kitten. | |
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Top 10 Stereotypes of Virgo
1. Nit Pickers
Miss Virgo is really clever. She’s fully aware that you will totally buy into her stereotype and she finds that humorous. In time you’ll wake up and smell the coffee. For example, if you both decide to have a girls night out, each of you on your own, Virgo girl will in advance let you know what time she’ll be expecting you back because she’s going to be wearing that nice red silk lingerie you like so much (this is her way of luring you back home early). You won’t find a better girlfriend than her because she really does give you a lot of love and attention. But if you come home with the stench of alcohol mixed with the delicate aroma of tobacco then you have a problem. Don’t even dare to kiss or touch her without taking a shower first, most especially if you should come home much later than she was expecting you. You may be fortunate enough to be forgiven just as long as you don’t do it again. If you dare to get cocky with your Virgo girl and test her patience time and time again she will let you know she’s had enough of your lack of respect and sensitivity by challenging your authority. Things will no longer get done around the home. She won’t be vacuuming, the dishes will begin to pile up and she’ll refuse to take out the garbage. She will begin to nit pick your way of eating, laughing, dressing and even the way you breathe! She’ll also begin to flirt with other women. Sooner than later you likely will kick yourself up the ass for not appreciating your Virgo lady. And the thought of loosing her to another woman is going to make you breakout in hives. You may even experience anxiety attacks at the thought of her folding someone else’s clothes. So learn when to fold your attitude when it comes to a Virgo woman | |
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Top 10 Stereotypes of Libra
1. Judgmental
If the thought of curling up with Egyptian cotton sheets as you watch a romantic movie marathon on AMC makes your heart skip a beat, you might have found the person that should be snuggled up next to you- a Libra girl. If you have plenty of mirrors in your home you’ve got a good head start. Libra ladies are very aware of themselves and love what they see in the mirror, especially if the mirror is streak free and was freshly Windexed a few minutes ago. (Libra women are very meticulous.) Speaking of surroundings, careful attention to details in decorating well as in the way they treat you is a high priority. Libra women are in search of a perfect love and they’ll go to great lengths to conquer the one who they are craving. Also, most Libra women will have their blackberry filled to capacity. Even if they want to stay home with you (and only you) they like to know what’s happening in the social scene. They love to see and be seen and if she gets an opportunity, she will also love to show you off. Fashion conscious Libra loooves her ‘accessories’ and you will be her favorite one. Speaking of precious belongings, Libra women long to be in relationships and they can be stickier than Crazy Clue when they only have eyes for you. Rose petal trails, warm oil massages and spontaneous traveling getaways are in your future. As what Libra sees on those romance marathons on AMC, she likes to emulate in real life. | |
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Top 10 Stereotypes of Scorpio
1. Sexual
Would you like to spend some time in the dungeon of love? Would you like to be worshipped and infatuated about? How’s a little side dish of kinky? Are you into getting blindfolded and having your hands and feet tied? Well good, because with a Scorpio woman you’re going to feel the power of intensity in all it’s good and bad forms. Maybe your hands and feet won’t literally be tied up (or maybe they will, from time to time if you’re into that kind of scene) but your Scorpio woman is going to keep a tight grip on you and what you’re up to. With passionate people comes an admiration and devotion that you’ve never felt before and just with that same intensity you will feel the possessive and jealous side to this stinging invertebrate. If your relationships have been plain vanilla we can guarantee you no less than a succulent rocky road with a Scorpio. When you’re connecting like two bodies that become one... your Scorpio woman will be fervidly on your side. But when you don’t necessarily want to do as she wants expect some venous stings. Your Scorpio lady can be very resentful. She’s very cautious and mysterious by nature, she only truly opens herself up to a selected few. So if you happen to be one of those that she finally comes around and decides to confide in... if you should ever let her down- don’t just walk or run away, you better get a new identity because she will make you pay for it ten lifetimes worth. Karma has nothing on what a jaded Scorpio woman can do to you. | |
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Top 10 Stereotypes of Sagittarius
1. Adventurous
If you want a dog or cat to behave in a certain manner you’re best off getting them when they are in their puppy/kitten phase. That way, you get them young and innocent and you can mold them to your liking. The same theory should be used for Sagittarius women. Get one while she’s young and hasn’t experienced the world out there too much. Speaking of the world, if you can (and it’s not too late already) buy a collection of (pre Christopher Columbus) books that state the Earth is flat and if you travel it enough you’ll fall off the edge. Maybe, just maybe, this theory will help to keep your Sagittarius close to home. Because when she gets a little more mature and if she ever finds out that she won’t tip off the edge of the world if she goes venturing... you can officially bit bon voyage to your Sagittarius Sultana. Actually, before she dashes out the door (with luggage in hand) she’ll take a few minutes to let you how stupid you are for thinking the world is flat while she also invites you to think about your unintelligent existence. Did we forget to mention that Sagittarius ladies are brutally blunt, sarcastic and provocative? And please, don’t bother telling her to be careful “The door don’t hit her ass on the way out” because she’ll tell you you don’t know much about asses because if you did look the word up in the dictionary you’d see your photo next to the explanation of ass. Yes, Sagittarius women have their positive traits too. They are independent (no need for a litter box for this kitty), young at heart, giving (when they make a pit stop at home) and venturesome. Now really, if you think about it enough, isn’t it a good thing that she wants to go away a good deal of the time? It’s best to admit it, your centaur loves to gallop far out and she’ll be back when the cows come home. | |
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Top 10 Stereotypes of Capricorn
1. Ambitious
Capricorn women get a bad rap. While your thinking she’s a heartless, cold, pridefull workaholic, she’s thinking that you are an envious, lazy, freeloader whose bank account balance reads zero. And by the way, it’s not that she loves missing important dates like your anniversary or your birthday. She just has the common sense to know that if she let’s her heart get in the way of her owning her own business before she’s 40 then she will begin to feel like a failure. There is nothing more frightening to a Capricorn woman than the thought of staying in a dead end job. Plus, if she doesn’t work hard how can she afford all the good things in life? So don’t goof on her while she’s busy building up her egg nest. Because you never know if you’ll leave your job to go and work for her. Capricorns are also know for being extremely generous most especially when they’ve done something wrong. If you’re the sensitive type, then a Capricorn woman is not the one for you. Capricorn would rather buy you an expensive gift than apologize to you. Sorry is one of those words you’ll never find in her dictionary. She has no clue how to pronounce it either. Of course she has a heart and blood does pump through her veins. However, everyone seems to focus on her demanding, temperamental, controlling side. It takes a strong woman to win the heart of a Capricorn girl. But once you catch her she’s yours for the long run and you’ll be prized with a sweet hearted girl who can sexually bring you to your knees. | |
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Top 10 Stereotypes of Aquarius
1. Objective
The world and all laws should be followed according to the Superior Court of Aquarius justice. If there’s an idealist* in the zodiac sign it’s an Aquarius woman. But it’s idealism with a little twist. Did you notice the asterisk next to the word idealist? That’s because it’s not just that Aquarius women dream big and pursue high and noble principles, they also hold their theories of how things should be to the extreme. When someone whipped up the expression “It’s my way or the highway” they surely must have been living with an Aquarius lady. Cool and detached when it comes to judging people, she’ll even make you (the love of her life) repent as if you were a criminal of the highest degree. Aquarius women don’t care how in love they might be with you, if they believe you are wrong, neither the Pope nor Rabbi or Judge Judy can ease your case. But for almost every good there’s a bad and there’s some positive traits to this H20 lover. Aquarius women are nonconformist. They will not settle for anything less than perfection. So just as much as they nag and dispute with you they will try their hardest to better themselves and be a better lover as well. And let’s not forget the eccentric side of Aqua girls...the more off the beaten path your ideas and actions are, the more she’ll be attracted to you. So go ahead and take some Swahili classes. Not only will it impress her tremendously but you can curse the hell out of her without later on having to endure the pungency of her acerbity. | |
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Top 10 Stereotypes of Pisces
1. Dreamy
Get ready to board the dreamiest of cruises, pack your bags you’re going to venture the seas of love on the the Mystic Mama with your captain- Ms Pisces. Can you envision how your life will be? As you probably know, Pisces women are gentle guppies with big imagination. And dreams fill their brains and soul forever more. But if you don’t want the Mystic Mama to crash into an iceberg, you quickly better learn to take command of the steering wheel. You see, Pisces ladies couldn’t care less to look at the compass of life. North, South, East, West... cardinals points were created for people who want direction, for beings who want to know where they are going. Pisces women just let the current take them where it may. Well, how can they go anywhere else when they don’t know themselves where they want to go? On top of that, since Pisceans are so terrible at saying no, there’s no chance in hell they’ll go anywhere but where the stream of life is leading them to. “Don’t creates ripples in the water if you mustn’t” is their logo. But don’t you go feeling too sorry for this Fin Fatale. She’s got plenty of stuff hiding under her gills. Hidden behind all the crystals, candles and New Age lie many murky mysteries. Pisces women hold onto their privacy with a nifty net. They will only divulge as much is needed to reel you in. And even when they’ve caught you for good, don’t think that she’ll let the real warm blooded fish out of the hat. You’ll get glimpses of her temper, you’ll get hints of her manipulative ways but she’s so crafty and subtle that you’ll doubt your gut feeling. Also remember that Fantasy Island girl will be yours for the keeping. Once you’re with a Pisces woman breaking it off is a hard thing to do. Your only way out of the relationship will be if she actually finds someone she likes better than you. Then, and only, then will she release you back into the pond. So with Pisces lady, swim with caution and keep your head above water at all times. | ||
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