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Is Love A Puzzle You Can Figure Out?

Love... is it a desire? An urge? A chemical balance (or imbalance)? Why do we fall in love with the women we fall in love with? Is love supposed to make sense or is it a great feeling that’s pure nonsense?

I rarely fall in love but when I do, it’s passionate and intense. I still don’t know what it is that makes me fall hard for a woman. Even when I try to analyze it, I can’t. Is it her looks, personality or both?

What is it about her that makes me feel vulnerable? It always feels as if the woman I love disconnects my heart valves and while she’s at it, perhaps she decides that that’s not enough so she’ll continue to rip apart the left ventricle to make sure that I’ll never love again.

I forget that before this woman came into my life I was independently happy. But somehow when she leaves, I become a cave woman. I lose direction in my life and feel lost. The mysteries of love. I don’t know why it’s like that but that’s how it is for most of us. Love always makes me feel like I’m at war with my lover and I become a soldier fighting her all the way. Not wanting to go down in the heat of the battle losing who I am and converting to someone she wants me to be. It’s no surprise admitting to all of you that I occasionally have lost this battle. Giving in to whatever it is that my girl wants or needs. Giving her my complete trust and resigning to all of my pride to this one woman. I’ve lost plenty of wars in love. Not wanting to be conquered by it. But in the end I have no say, my heart chooses not to listen to reason. Everyone is different when it comes to love. Some of us give ourselves completely to it never questioning it while others like yours truly fight it all the way only to then hold on to my lover’s leg as she drags me through the floor on her way out. I guess in the end I will never understand it but I’m glad to have it when I do.

Love, to me, is an invisible chemistry within our system. It’s really an unexplainable feeling. It, many times, doesn’t even make sense. You just feel an absolute attraction, a need to be with that person. I’m sure most of you at some point have even been criticized about the woman you’ve been in love with. When you’re deeply in love, you’re not thinking, you’re not caring what others think either. I’m usually a person that likes to balance things out and chooses carefully. But when it comes to love I’ve never cared to examine the money, education, looks or opportunities that person has to offer.

Just the matter of loving someone from your same sex proves the point that love is just a feeling that’s out of our mental control. No woman would purposely fall in love with another woman and face all the obstacles and hardships that a lesbian relationship entails. Relationships are already difficult; same sex ones are even more challenging. So after all is said and done, I guess love is a mystery. It’s something that, maybe, we’re not supposed to understand and make sense of. It’s like faith... you have it, you feel it..... but you can’t clearly explain it.

6/3/2005

I had this girl friend who every one thought was boring as hell but when I was alone with her I saw her personality come out and was just so in love with her. I don’t know what it was about her that made me get all mushy but I was just happy spending time with her.

Tina, Oregon

6/3/2005

My friends can’t see what it is that I see in my past lovers. It seems that they judge me based on their likes and dislikes. I’ve always been attracted to women who seem to have a great personality that I find beautiful. My friends sit and talk to me about my past lovers and say that they didn’t mind putting up with so and so because at least she was pretty. But then they would put down another of my ex girlfriends because they didn’t think she was pretty enough. I love my friends but sometimes they just don’t see what I see. When it comes to love I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I think all my ex’s were beautiful and different in their own ways and that’s what made them attractive to me. And even though others can’t see what I saw in them, it really doesn’t bother me. What matters is how they made me feel.

Elisa, NY

6/4/2005

I don’t understand why love is so important. Sex is much more satisfying to me than love ever will be. I think love gets in the way of one’s life and is so overrated. Some people are just not capable of loving. They’d rather go through life without knowing what it is. Lust on the other hand serves a purpose. I say lust more and love less and live and let live.

Bec, Arizona

6/3/2005

Love can make you feel high and powerful one moment only to then drop you to the depth of the earth, ripping through your ego, making you feel fragile, vulnerable, and cold. But I wouldn’t tray it in for anything in the world.

Martina, Louisiana

6/6/2005

I wish love were clear cut and you could start or end it at your terms. Love is definitely something that is not reasonable. I've been in love countless times with women that were more harmful than good for me. Meanwhile all my friends would point this out and I didn't care what they had to say, at that moment I wouldn't make any reason of it. I think love is puzzle that will always be puzzling.

Gina, NY

6/4/2005

We all view love depending what type of moral values we have. I’ve met people who have sworn to love their girl with all their might only to then turn around and have a love affair with another girl. Then I’ve met some women who sleep around with one or two girls only to turn around and love just one girl faithfully for years. I think its impossible to love one person for the rest of your life but I believe we can love one girl at a time and be faithful. That’s what love is to me. When I can love that one girl only and forget everyone else exists.

Sarah, Georgia

6/6/2005

I don't care what love is. I know love is wonderful and that is the important thing to me. I am in love with a great woman and I don't know why but I don't care. My friends and family don't like that I love her but that is okay with me and her. Love is great and that's it.

Celeste, Mexico

6/7/2005

Just because right now we can't come up with a scientifical solution to what love is, how it comes to be and all that, it doesn't mean that one day the truth behind it won't be discovered. For now, I'd have to say that it looks like love is a bug or virus. One that lasts sometimes a long time. It won't kill you but hey, sometimes it really does a number on you!

Karen, Oregon

6/7/2005

I don't see the need to explain love. I'm a big romantic. I'm just in love with love and I don't think I want a logical explanation to it! I think one of the wonders and greatness of love is our disability to not be able to explain it. Let's leave love a mystery.

Sandra, Texas

6/8/2005

Ladies, I love love but it's a malady. I don't know how many times I've fallen in love with the wrong guy/girl. If I could just take a pill to straighten my thoughts (not straighten my emotions, I'm a very happy bisexual lady) and pick the right person, I'd take it. Love is great but it also causes so much pain, stress and harm. If only I could figure something out and then I wouldn't waste half my life with men/women that end up doing me wrong.

Yolanda, Puerto Rico

6/10/2005

I've always been fascinated by the whole science of love. Why do our palms sweat? Why does our heart race faster when we see her? Why do we lose the words that we want to say when we have rehearsed them one thousand times? I don't know the answer. Sometimes I would care to know why. But I think that for the most part I just accept love and don't question it.

Letty, Texas

6/10/2005

The day someone finds the cure for love, I don't think I want it. I think half the reason why we're so crazy about love is because it's something that fires us up and we don't really know where it comes from. I think the day we can analyze this feeling we might lose the great magic of it. I hope not to be alive to see that day.

Lillian, Arizona

6/12/2005

I can't begin to say how beautiful love has been to me. For starters, it gave me two beautiful daughters from a marriage that ended but he was a great husband too. Now, I'm in a seriously commited relationship with a woman that my girls just adore. I'm so grateful to love, I don't know what it is or why it happens but it's great.

Lonnie, Texas

6/13/2005

I never really sat down to think about my love experiences much but now that I read here I'm thinking that my love resume is pretty interesting. I've dated and have been deeply in love with very different men and women. From my piano teacher, she was so beautiful and interesting, to my car mechanic who was very handy, in more ways than one!. I really have loved a lot in my short life and they all have been different. What I can say is that they've all loved me back tremendously and I've learned a great deal from all my relationships.

Jenny P, NY

6/15/2005

I think I really would rather leave love alone and let it remain a mystery because the day we find a cure or a reasoning to it that will be the day that love is doomed. I think I like the fact that I can't explain and put into words what I'm thinking and feeling when I'm in love, don't you girls feel the same?

Jessie, Florida

6/16/2005

Hey girls, how about it I tell you that love is a virus and that sometime in the future they might have a shot or pill you can take to feel better? Would you take it? I mean, love can be cute and all but most of the time it fucks you up big time. Let me tell you, when they come up for a cure, I'll be the first one on line for it.

Sally, Michigan

6/20/2005

Let me tell you girls that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and love knows no boundaries. I once fell in love with a woman most of my friend's nicknamed "Ugly Duckling". Yes, very cruel, isn't it? Well, that Ugly Duckling to me was and continues to be beautiful. We're no longer together but she helped me learn so much about life and about myself. She also helped me get my act together and get away from bad influences. She is a queen really. I love her dearly and I never did care what my friends thought about her. I also thought she was the most gorgeous woman to walk this planet.

Alicia, Montana

6/22/2005

If you're over concerned about the looks of your girlfriend or what your girlfriends think about it then maybe you're not in love. When you do love a woman with all your soul you give yourself entirely and you have no idea what hit you. To you, it makes perfect sense while everyone from you family and friends looks at you like you are nuts. I think that's when you really know you're in love. So no, I don't think love can be explained and I'm so happy that it can't. Let us keep it that way.

Carla, Vermont

6/25/2005

Love stinks! Hahahah. Yeah right! Love is fab! So if I can't explain why the fuck I'm in love with you, who cares? The important thing is that we can't wait to get home and make love. When you are really into a woman you do the craziest things. I, for one, have moved 8 times to be with the woman that rocks my world. And you know what? I wouldn't change a thing. Go ask my friend and my mother if I'm a crazy looney? They won't hesitate to say yes. But I'm happy the way I lead my life and the way I go into love.

Josie, Georgia

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